Love

hahaha... its sound a bit like I'm the NO LOVE expert...

last nite watched the valentine's day movie with helen, shan yun and bf (sorry it takes some time for me to remember chinese name).
well the moral of the story is, Love cannot be planned... It just happens at the right moment and at the right time. so no matter what you do, you can't avoid it at that moment. as for the other times, when Love was not meant to be, just hang in there and enjoy ur bachelor hood...

well, as of this moment, I'm still enjoying my bachelor hood... some day, some where, I'll find the right one for me...
so friends please stop match making... Love cannot be planned...

also I dun think dating your friend's ex is something that is ethically right to do...

putting faith above all else

one lesson that I have learnt at City Harvest Church KL that really changes my perspective is put our faith above all else. Its like whenever we face problems and challenges, we always plan and do things that we may regret later. We think that we can solve it by ourself. God only exist on Sunday service and on other days, we are on our own. Well that perception of mine had changed.

I have learnt that whenever we face any challeges, first of all, pray to God to help you to solve it. When we pray to God and ask that what ever that we do let it be done according to God's will and plan that He has for us. Sometimes, we find new ideas or ways to solve the problem. At other times, we find the courage and energy to carry on and solve the problem. I had had a very heavy burden for the past few months.

I was kinda afraid to face it rather than hell. But after I prayed, I just had the urge and strength to face it once and for all. I know that what ever outcome it is, it will be done according to God's will. As such, I totally surrender to God to solve it for me. I just sow the seed, but He will ensure that the seed grows or not. And I find an inner peace in it, that I do not have to worry that things will gone awry because I know that whatever happen it happen according to God's will. For if God is for us, who will go against us.

Now I just turn to Yahweh, whenever I have any issues. For I know He will help me. Amen

Independence of Sabah and Sarawak from Malaysia

I first asked this question to my former history school teacher back then. Since Sarawak and Sabah are being ill treated and had to bow down to peninsular's claim all the time, why not we fight for our own independence.

The latest Allah issue really strike me most compared to other issues that Sarawakian had to be subjugated to colonialization by Malaya. Peninsular Malaysia claims that Islam is the religion of the federation. Yes we respect and acknowledge that even with due respect that Sarawak and Sabah are Christian majority states. In Sarawak, Malay Muslim accounts to about one fifth of the population. More than two third are Christians and the rest Buddhist. So can you imagine how much Christians have to give up by becoming part of an Islamic country that follows Islamic rule even though Muslim is not majority in our states.

Since majority rules apply. Sarawak and Sabah do not have to follow Islamic rule at all. And syariah laws cannot be enforced on us instead Christian law should be enforced. We have given up fight against applying Islamic law or not. Now the federal government is trying to even take away our rights to call our God, Allah. Peninsular Malaysia have taken away all our resources like Petroleum, timber (forest), and even hydro electric dam(Bakun). And the native tribes who are the real owner of the land (not Malay people) do not even own their own land. Instead they are being chased out as illegal squatters in the jungle. How much more can we endure under such colonization?

Its time for Sarawakian and Sabahan to unite and fight for indepence from Malaysia. Its is now or never. Today we can't call our God Allah, tomorrow what? Christ Jesus is outlawed in Malaysia?

Health

This week I have been having severe diarrhea and the growth of a wisdom tooth. I must admit that I have been converted into a toilet fan as of late. Having diarrhea is much worse than a nature call. I guess God really answered my prayer for a fit body shape. It is like a punishment for me because of binge eating and partying over the Christmas and New Year countdown. It is suppose to drain off the extra pounds that I have gained over the holidays. Maybe, I should start to sign up for a gym class and having a proper body building protein diet. Over the past month I have been taking in too much food than I have consumed on average over the past few years.

I have discovered that I'm prefer more Western food than Chinese food. I must really congratulate the Chinese people in KL for coming up with a lot of creative food that I would not even ever imagine to have in my whole life. Above that, I have to say that the main reason why I prefer the familiar food is I do not have to suffer shocking taste bud culture. The Chinese food here is too salty with soya sauce. Everything is cooked with soya sauce. I definitely have not taken so much soya sauce ever in my whole life as compared to now. I have even come to a conclusion to ban all Chinese food. Plus I'm sick of rice and noodles. Seriously why Asian like to eat so much of rice and noodles?

The growth of a wisdom tooth signals another mile stone in my life. A transition from being a student to a working adult as an intern for eight months. It is really a change from the old conundrum of the quiet lecture room of an old sulky professor from some middle east country trying to speak English with thick Arabic accent. WTF, I don't understand a single shit of English he is trying to say. Same goes to Indian lecturer with thick Indian accent. Sorry I'm not trying to be racist, but please improve your English before start being a lecturer. It is an insult to my ear to hear broken English being spoken in lecture classes. I will sound rude if I were to correct your English, so better do something about it.

All American Rejects concert

I'll be going to the AAR concert on 31 OCT at Stadium Bukit Jalil
wanna know will be there...

gonna really enjoy my self then.... will take pictures and post in fb n blog here....
can't wait for it!!!!!
one more week to go....

First confession and rejection

so here is my very personal entry on my love life......

So most of friends knew that I was kinda liking a girl... and I have kinda have constant contact through sms n chat almost everyday...
everyone was kinda asking me when I'm gonna tell her.. I was kinda uncertain whether she like me or not... U know I might be on one sided feeling only...
I prefer face to face confession since its more sincere and the right thing to do... but my course mates were like, u should try sms... I tried to do the face to face thing, but I dunno why, I was kinda shy coz its my first time doing this... I dunno, but my tongue was kinda tight and when I wanted to tell her face to face, I just can't...

So I tried the sms as suggested by jing zhi. Maybe the timing wasn't right and everything was kinda not going my way... I was having 2 test, 1 lab report, and 1 presentation to prepare that week... It was kinda heavy one me... I mean the pressure was just building up too much, that I can't concentrate at my studies if I dun tell her... so I sms and told her that I like her and wanted to know whats her feeling... it was kinda late at midnite when I receive the sms.. it goes sth like "I know u like me. I do like you too. But I'm scared that I can't commit" being cranky at midnite, I interpret it as a NO. Thus meaning she kinda rejected me... ( at least thats what I understand from the reply)

So I answered back that " we can still be friends rite" and she says that "we are friends". So I replied "k... good then.... Good nite..." but she never replied back that nite... I was kinda too tired when she reply me that time... I haven't got enough sleep for few days and I kinda just lose a close friendship the previous week. So maintaining friendship was my top priority....

I dunno, But I guess I was like Ted in How I met you mother, when he first had a crush on Robin. At least they still be friends and can hang out together as friends...

I had a long talk to my best friend, Nee Ping. Yeah she's the one that our gang of friends kinda run to tell our problems when we really can't handle it... being a good friend as she is, she kinda listen to my problems and she kinda din want to tell me what to do.... she says that I'll know what to do when I really think it over again... and I have decided to be friend. Any may be some day I'll find someone more suitable for me....

SO, Yeah I'm kinda single and unwanted rite now... well, this is my first time and I don't really expect a miracle out of it... I kinda know that I suck at such things... so Helene here u go... finally you can read my story...

kinda the worst day in my life diz year....

I'll always remember oct 3 2009, the day that really top my most hated day for this year I guess....

I have misunderstood a close friend and I got paid back for what I did... I guess.... I really have betrayed the friendship and no matter what I do the harm has been made and I really dunno how to make up for this....

anyway I was really feeling low that day, and everything was kinda going in the wrong direction... I was asked to never bother in this person's life ever again and you know, I'm kinda never the person being hated by someone...plus the person that I needed the most to just be there to support me at that time just went AWOL and I kinda felt that was it... I suddenly felt that everyone in this world hates me...

at that point I was feeling kinda wanna commit suicide or maybe jump of a bridge you know....
I just lose my total appetite... in fact I'm still struggling to gain back my appetite for the past one week...

the week was kinda full of emotions and stuff that just swept u through u kinda feel like speechless and just wanna surrender...I finally felt why meredith in grey's autonomy just gave up when she fell into the sea... I felt that I have struggle enough and I wouldn't mind if I just die at that time....what difference would it make....

luckily I got a good french fren who kinda hang in their for me....
like a true sister who would help cheer up a cancer sick brother.... she kinda turn my worst sat nite into one of the funny ones... with all the jokes she told me about funny incidences and I will not forget that the waiter at Old Town shop there treat me like a foreigner and treat her like a chinese.... hahahaha.... and she was teaching me how to write sms in chinese coz I dun understand her chinese sms... and having banana split at the "river drain" of Ipoh.... thats how I would call it... also making her miserable on the way back by making her laugh and hiccup when ever she try to stop it... hahaha.... and its kinda fun...

At that point I was kinda thinking that I would lose all the friends to hang out and have fun with... instead as she said, I will find new friends... and sure I did, I start to hangout with south african friends and others that I met... and I really openned up my eye up to more people out there to be friends with....

tq helene for being a big sister whenever I face any problem... at the club watching out for us.... and now being a sister cheering me up when I felt low...gud to know that I can find you whenever I had any problem... I know u kinda felt tired of baby sitting me... hahahaha.... at least I can make u feel miserable by laughing the whole time... yeah u will get a whole nite of giggling and laughing when u combine both of us..... its just how crazy we are... hahaha.....