I'll be going to the AAR concert on 31 OCT at Stadium Bukit Jalil
wanna know will be there...
gonna really enjoy my self then.... will take pictures and post in fb n blog here....
can't wait for it!!!!!
one more week to go....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
First confession and rejection
so here is my very personal entry on my love life......
So most of friends knew that I was kinda liking a girl... and I have kinda have constant contact through sms n chat almost everyday...
everyone was kinda asking me when I'm gonna tell her.. I was kinda uncertain whether she like me or not... U know I might be on one sided feeling only...
I prefer face to face confession since its more sincere and the right thing to do... but my course mates were like, u should try sms... I tried to do the face to face thing, but I dunno why, I was kinda shy coz its my first time doing this... I dunno, but my tongue was kinda tight and when I wanted to tell her face to face, I just can't...
So I tried the sms as suggested by jing zhi. Maybe the timing wasn't right and everything was kinda not going my way... I was having 2 test, 1 lab report, and 1 presentation to prepare that week... It was kinda heavy one me... I mean the pressure was just building up too much, that I can't concentrate at my studies if I dun tell her... so I sms and told her that I like her and wanted to know whats her feeling... it was kinda late at midnite when I receive the sms.. it goes sth like "I know u like me. I do like you too. But I'm scared that I can't commit" being cranky at midnite, I interpret it as a NO. Thus meaning she kinda rejected me... ( at least thats what I understand from the reply)
So I answered back that " we can still be friends rite" and she says that "we are friends". So I replied "k... good then.... Good nite..." but she never replied back that nite... I was kinda too tired when she reply me that time... I haven't got enough sleep for few days and I kinda just lose a close friendship the previous week. So maintaining friendship was my top priority....
I dunno, But I guess I was like Ted in How I met you mother, when he first had a crush on Robin. At least they still be friends and can hang out together as friends...
I had a long talk to my best friend, Nee Ping. Yeah she's the one that our gang of friends kinda run to tell our problems when we really can't handle it... being a good friend as she is, she kinda listen to my problems and she kinda din want to tell me what to do.... she says that I'll know what to do when I really think it over again... and I have decided to be friend. Any may be some day I'll find someone more suitable for me....
SO, Yeah I'm kinda single and unwanted rite now... well, this is my first time and I don't really expect a miracle out of it... I kinda know that I suck at such things... so Helene here u go... finally you can read my story...
So most of friends knew that I was kinda liking a girl... and I have kinda have constant contact through sms n chat almost everyday...
everyone was kinda asking me when I'm gonna tell her.. I was kinda uncertain whether she like me or not... U know I might be on one sided feeling only...
I prefer face to face confession since its more sincere and the right thing to do... but my course mates were like, u should try sms... I tried to do the face to face thing, but I dunno why, I was kinda shy coz its my first time doing this... I dunno, but my tongue was kinda tight and when I wanted to tell her face to face, I just can't...
So I tried the sms as suggested by jing zhi. Maybe the timing wasn't right and everything was kinda not going my way... I was having 2 test, 1 lab report, and 1 presentation to prepare that week... It was kinda heavy one me... I mean the pressure was just building up too much, that I can't concentrate at my studies if I dun tell her... so I sms and told her that I like her and wanted to know whats her feeling... it was kinda late at midnite when I receive the sms.. it goes sth like "I know u like me. I do like you too. But I'm scared that I can't commit" being cranky at midnite, I interpret it as a NO. Thus meaning she kinda rejected me... ( at least thats what I understand from the reply)
So I answered back that " we can still be friends rite" and she says that "we are friends". So I replied "k... good then.... Good nite..." but she never replied back that nite... I was kinda too tired when she reply me that time... I haven't got enough sleep for few days and I kinda just lose a close friendship the previous week. So maintaining friendship was my top priority....
I dunno, But I guess I was like Ted in How I met you mother, when he first had a crush on Robin. At least they still be friends and can hang out together as friends...
I had a long talk to my best friend, Nee Ping. Yeah she's the one that our gang of friends kinda run to tell our problems when we really can't handle it... being a good friend as she is, she kinda listen to my problems and she kinda din want to tell me what to do.... she says that I'll know what to do when I really think it over again... and I have decided to be friend. Any may be some day I'll find someone more suitable for me....
SO, Yeah I'm kinda single and unwanted rite now... well, this is my first time and I don't really expect a miracle out of it... I kinda know that I suck at such things... so Helene here u go... finally you can read my story...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
kinda the worst day in my life diz year....
I'll always remember oct 3 2009, the day that really top my most hated day for this year I guess....
I have misunderstood a close friend and I got paid back for what I did... I guess.... I really have betrayed the friendship and no matter what I do the harm has been made and I really dunno how to make up for this....
anyway I was really feeling low that day, and everything was kinda going in the wrong direction... I was asked to never bother in this person's life ever again and you know, I'm kinda never the person being hated by someone...plus the person that I needed the most to just be there to support me at that time just went AWOL and I kinda felt that was it... I suddenly felt that everyone in this world hates me...
at that point I was feeling kinda wanna commit suicide or maybe jump of a bridge you know....
I just lose my total appetite... in fact I'm still struggling to gain back my appetite for the past one week...
the week was kinda full of emotions and stuff that just swept u through u kinda feel like speechless and just wanna surrender...I finally felt why meredith in grey's autonomy just gave up when she fell into the sea... I felt that I have struggle enough and I wouldn't mind if I just die at that time....what difference would it make....
luckily I got a good french fren who kinda hang in their for me....
like a true sister who would help cheer up a cancer sick brother.... she kinda turn my worst sat nite into one of the funny ones... with all the jokes she told me about funny incidences and I will not forget that the waiter at Old Town shop there treat me like a foreigner and treat her like a chinese.... hahahaha.... and she was teaching me how to write sms in chinese coz I dun understand her chinese sms... and having banana split at the "river drain" of Ipoh.... thats how I would call it... also making her miserable on the way back by making her laugh and hiccup when ever she try to stop it... hahaha.... and its kinda fun...
At that point I was kinda thinking that I would lose all the friends to hang out and have fun with... instead as she said, I will find new friends... and sure I did, I start to hangout with south african friends and others that I met... and I really openned up my eye up to more people out there to be friends with....
tq helene for being a big sister whenever I face any problem... at the club watching out for us.... and now being a sister cheering me up when I felt low...gud to know that I can find you whenever I had any problem... I know u kinda felt tired of baby sitting me... hahahaha.... at least I can make u feel miserable by laughing the whole time... yeah u will get a whole nite of giggling and laughing when u combine both of us..... its just how crazy we are... hahaha.....
I have misunderstood a close friend and I got paid back for what I did... I guess.... I really have betrayed the friendship and no matter what I do the harm has been made and I really dunno how to make up for this....
anyway I was really feeling low that day, and everything was kinda going in the wrong direction... I was asked to never bother in this person's life ever again and you know, I'm kinda never the person being hated by someone...plus the person that I needed the most to just be there to support me at that time just went AWOL and I kinda felt that was it... I suddenly felt that everyone in this world hates me...
at that point I was feeling kinda wanna commit suicide or maybe jump of a bridge you know....
I just lose my total appetite... in fact I'm still struggling to gain back my appetite for the past one week...
the week was kinda full of emotions and stuff that just swept u through u kinda feel like speechless and just wanna surrender...I finally felt why meredith in grey's autonomy just gave up when she fell into the sea... I felt that I have struggle enough and I wouldn't mind if I just die at that time....what difference would it make....
luckily I got a good french fren who kinda hang in their for me....
like a true sister who would help cheer up a cancer sick brother.... she kinda turn my worst sat nite into one of the funny ones... with all the jokes she told me about funny incidences and I will not forget that the waiter at Old Town shop there treat me like a foreigner and treat her like a chinese.... hahahaha.... and she was teaching me how to write sms in chinese coz I dun understand her chinese sms... and having banana split at the "river drain" of Ipoh.... thats how I would call it... also making her miserable on the way back by making her laugh and hiccup when ever she try to stop it... hahaha.... and its kinda fun...
At that point I was kinda thinking that I would lose all the friends to hang out and have fun with... instead as she said, I will find new friends... and sure I did, I start to hangout with south african friends and others that I met... and I really openned up my eye up to more people out there to be friends with....
tq helene for being a big sister whenever I face any problem... at the club watching out for us.... and now being a sister cheering me up when I felt low...gud to know that I can find you whenever I had any problem... I know u kinda felt tired of baby sitting me... hahahaha.... at least I can make u feel miserable by laughing the whole time... yeah u will get a whole nite of giggling and laughing when u combine both of us..... its just how crazy we are... hahaha.....
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