First confession and rejection

so here is my very personal entry on my love life......

So most of friends knew that I was kinda liking a girl... and I have kinda have constant contact through sms n chat almost everyday...
everyone was kinda asking me when I'm gonna tell her.. I was kinda uncertain whether she like me or not... U know I might be on one sided feeling only...
I prefer face to face confession since its more sincere and the right thing to do... but my course mates were like, u should try sms... I tried to do the face to face thing, but I dunno why, I was kinda shy coz its my first time doing this... I dunno, but my tongue was kinda tight and when I wanted to tell her face to face, I just can't...

So I tried the sms as suggested by jing zhi. Maybe the timing wasn't right and everything was kinda not going my way... I was having 2 test, 1 lab report, and 1 presentation to prepare that week... It was kinda heavy one me... I mean the pressure was just building up too much, that I can't concentrate at my studies if I dun tell her... so I sms and told her that I like her and wanted to know whats her feeling... it was kinda late at midnite when I receive the sms.. it goes sth like "I know u like me. I do like you too. But I'm scared that I can't commit" being cranky at midnite, I interpret it as a NO. Thus meaning she kinda rejected me... ( at least thats what I understand from the reply)

So I answered back that " we can still be friends rite" and she says that "we are friends". So I replied "k... good then.... Good nite..." but she never replied back that nite... I was kinda too tired when she reply me that time... I haven't got enough sleep for few days and I kinda just lose a close friendship the previous week. So maintaining friendship was my top priority....

I dunno, But I guess I was like Ted in How I met you mother, when he first had a crush on Robin. At least they still be friends and can hang out together as friends...

I had a long talk to my best friend, Nee Ping. Yeah she's the one that our gang of friends kinda run to tell our problems when we really can't handle it... being a good friend as she is, she kinda listen to my problems and she kinda din want to tell me what to do.... she says that I'll know what to do when I really think it over again... and I have decided to be friend. Any may be some day I'll find someone more suitable for me....

SO, Yeah I'm kinda single and unwanted rite now... well, this is my first time and I don't really expect a miracle out of it... I kinda know that I suck at such things... so Helene here u go... finally you can read my story...