All American Rejects concert

I'll be going to the AAR concert on 31 OCT at Stadium Bukit Jalil
wanna know will be there...

gonna really enjoy my self then.... will take pictures and post in fb n blog here....
can't wait for it!!!!!
one more week to go....

First confession and rejection

so here is my very personal entry on my love life......

So most of friends knew that I was kinda liking a girl... and I have kinda have constant contact through sms n chat almost everyday...
everyone was kinda asking me when I'm gonna tell her.. I was kinda uncertain whether she like me or not... U know I might be on one sided feeling only...
I prefer face to face confession since its more sincere and the right thing to do... but my course mates were like, u should try sms... I tried to do the face to face thing, but I dunno why, I was kinda shy coz its my first time doing this... I dunno, but my tongue was kinda tight and when I wanted to tell her face to face, I just can't...

So I tried the sms as suggested by jing zhi. Maybe the timing wasn't right and everything was kinda not going my way... I was having 2 test, 1 lab report, and 1 presentation to prepare that week... It was kinda heavy one me... I mean the pressure was just building up too much, that I can't concentrate at my studies if I dun tell her... so I sms and told her that I like her and wanted to know whats her feeling... it was kinda late at midnite when I receive the sms.. it goes sth like "I know u like me. I do like you too. But I'm scared that I can't commit" being cranky at midnite, I interpret it as a NO. Thus meaning she kinda rejected me... ( at least thats what I understand from the reply)

So I answered back that " we can still be friends rite" and she says that "we are friends". So I replied "k... good then.... Good nite..." but she never replied back that nite... I was kinda too tired when she reply me that time... I haven't got enough sleep for few days and I kinda just lose a close friendship the previous week. So maintaining friendship was my top priority....

I dunno, But I guess I was like Ted in How I met you mother, when he first had a crush on Robin. At least they still be friends and can hang out together as friends...

I had a long talk to my best friend, Nee Ping. Yeah she's the one that our gang of friends kinda run to tell our problems when we really can't handle it... being a good friend as she is, she kinda listen to my problems and she kinda din want to tell me what to do.... she says that I'll know what to do when I really think it over again... and I have decided to be friend. Any may be some day I'll find someone more suitable for me....

SO, Yeah I'm kinda single and unwanted rite now... well, this is my first time and I don't really expect a miracle out of it... I kinda know that I suck at such things... so Helene here u go... finally you can read my story...

kinda the worst day in my life diz year....

I'll always remember oct 3 2009, the day that really top my most hated day for this year I guess....

I have misunderstood a close friend and I got paid back for what I did... I guess.... I really have betrayed the friendship and no matter what I do the harm has been made and I really dunno how to make up for this....

anyway I was really feeling low that day, and everything was kinda going in the wrong direction... I was asked to never bother in this person's life ever again and you know, I'm kinda never the person being hated by someone...plus the person that I needed the most to just be there to support me at that time just went AWOL and I kinda felt that was it... I suddenly felt that everyone in this world hates me...

at that point I was feeling kinda wanna commit suicide or maybe jump of a bridge you know....
I just lose my total appetite... in fact I'm still struggling to gain back my appetite for the past one week...

the week was kinda full of emotions and stuff that just swept u through u kinda feel like speechless and just wanna surrender...I finally felt why meredith in grey's autonomy just gave up when she fell into the sea... I felt that I have struggle enough and I wouldn't mind if I just die at that time....what difference would it make....

luckily I got a good french fren who kinda hang in their for me....
like a true sister who would help cheer up a cancer sick brother.... she kinda turn my worst sat nite into one of the funny ones... with all the jokes she told me about funny incidences and I will not forget that the waiter at Old Town shop there treat me like a foreigner and treat her like a chinese.... hahahaha.... and she was teaching me how to write sms in chinese coz I dun understand her chinese sms... and having banana split at the "river drain" of Ipoh.... thats how I would call it... also making her miserable on the way back by making her laugh and hiccup when ever she try to stop it... hahaha.... and its kinda fun...

At that point I was kinda thinking that I would lose all the friends to hang out and have fun with... instead as she said, I will find new friends... and sure I did, I start to hangout with south african friends and others that I met... and I really openned up my eye up to more people out there to be friends with....

tq helene for being a big sister whenever I face any problem... at the club watching out for us.... and now being a sister cheering me up when I felt low...gud to know that I can find you whenever I had any problem... I know u kinda felt tired of baby sitting me... hahahaha.... at least I can make u feel miserable by laughing the whole time... yeah u will get a whole nite of giggling and laughing when u combine both of us..... its just how crazy we are... hahaha.....

To risk or not

Ok... I have been getting lots of friends suggesting me to find a gf lately...

I mean I have been single for all my life to start with...

And maybe I'm too comfortable with where I am..

I do admit that sometimes I had a crush on someone.. But maybe I'm too scared to admit it to someone.. I mean I'm kinda the guy who keeps his feeling burried deep inside and will never reveal it.. Its just who I am....Scared and coward I guess....

I mean I dun think I'm brave enough too pop up the question or even ask someone on a date or sth..... especially when the person is a good friend... I'm afraid it will just ruin the whole friendship... I mean it would be awkward to hang out with someone who just rejected u rite...Maybe the fear of being rejected just outweights the chances of the relationship ever happens...

So I'm kinda just happy to hangout with all my friends... I have many friends for different activites that I do.... 

Plus finding the right person that u like is not easy though... mostly are unavailable... since its limited I guess...

So call me coward if u like... but I'll be ur best friend....

David Archuleta 09 KL concert

1. Wanna thank DiGi and particularly Mr. P, Lareina, Brainchild and others for letting me to catch him in concert and have the chance to meet and greet him in person behind the stage...

2. David Archuleta was the nice and cheerful guy with his smile that can melt the girls heart... He's kinda  funny guy in person as well... He's kinda the guy that what you see is what u get( in tv an real life).... He rally got good vocal as well... though it was kinda short for concert... everyone was just chanting we want more when it ended...

3. the crowd was kinda like crazy man.. I mean the girls was shrieking, wailing, shouting, screaming and what more can I describe? they are just spectacular... It was kinda a shock at first when seeing them acting like that....Its like ur at tanjung rambutan suddenly... I been to rainforest music festival but, people were just shouting but not shrieking like at the concert..... really unexpected..... Its like the girls were having an O at that time... 

4. It was my first concert... And it was really fun seriously.... And thanks to all the YA from KL, baya, remy, others....

Independence?

What is national independence? It is the cow head protest in shah alam or the biased police and MACC? Neither any of these events reflect independence. It is just cynical to watch idiot politicians giving out their bigotry and childish press statement. It is even worse than the Bill Cosby’s show “Kid Say the Darnest Things”. It is really appalling to have such morons as our minister. 
I just grow up and realize that the promises of politician especially from BN are really just lip services like those hookers trying to solicit customers. Worst still, they are even willing to sell off their body and mind. These are unprincipled people who just go around and make whimsical remarks as they go like some mental institution patient. With the current rate of how things are in Malaysia especially the most corrupt, racist, intolerant, conservative, and anarchic rule by BN, people’s human rights are being violated and the constant threat of sending Chinese and Indian descendent citizens back is just making everyone sick and tired the current state of affair. 
A warning to BN, you have live beyond your shelf life span and you are gonna be thrown out of office by next election. I for one will never vote for BN ever in my life. After going through the corrupted government affairs, I have harden my heart to vote against BN. I prefer DAP not because they are Chinese people. I never support racial based fundamentals. But I like their Ideology of governing the country. The democrats are ruling all over the world. And soon DAP will rule Malaysia. The lost of Japanese LDP to DPJ this week is a reminder of what is to come. Australia, New Zealand, Canada, US, Germany, and India had shown example of how it will be for a corrupted government.
Democrats are ruling Japan, US, India and Indonesia. It will soon be the case for Malaysia as well. Hopefully once in power, the new governments will make new regulations that will ease the cost of living of all Malaysian irrespective of their race and religion. If the government needs to give money to poor people mostly Malay people, so be it. Help those who need help but not the rich God father s in UMNO with mansion of millions of dollar worth, and omega watches or coats of thousands of dollar that are being stolen from national funds. These people must be sent to imprisonment for swindling and corrupt practices. Justice and love is what all Malaysian hope and wish for this year. Let justice prevail and let the government prosper and shower the poor people with love in terms of better education, housing, living support, job opportunity and personal advancement.  

by election

Ok, fews days ago, the information minister, gave assurance to bloggers that they will not be charged if they post comment on gov policy than sending blaspheme...

So the latest issue is the impending Penanti by election, which is now vacated. Well, actually I agree with the decision of Fairuz to quit since he is alleged to be involved in corruption scandal.... So it is by right to resign until he is being cleared off the charges.... This is a normal practice by Japanese politicians as a sign of leaders have to be responsible to the people. Unlike some who are found gulity for corruption aka money politics but still become cm in malacca. hmmm... I wonder whether the BN gov is calling the PR gov black (pot calling the cattle black) or rather charcoal calling paper black... in this case as there is still no evidence that Fairuz is gulity.

But then again in these days, I kinda doubt the justice system in Malaysia... because our chief judge was a former UMNO lawyer, and also he admited that he had seen some of his colleague in the past involved in corruption. This means, the rich and famous can simply buy the verdict of the judges... Its kinda like a petaling street.... the new product on sale is Malaysian Judge's verdict.... which judge do you want? cheap cheap only, US$ 1 million.... then u can escape from killing Mongolian Artist and migrate to UK...

Or u can use it to get somebody imprison for his innocence... aka DSAI, what type of crime you want him to be punished for? SODOMY, MURDER, or even Corruption... hmmmm.... I'll take the first coz it is kinda rare right... And all the muslim will stone him to death.... that way I can be free from any guilt of murdering again.... ( you know who I meant by this)

Ohya the real issue I have not talked about....
BN claim that by election is a waste of public fund....
Yeah says a person who use GLC money to give present to the residents to buy their heart and vote. hmmm.... according to them, it is a normal practice by BN to give handouts during by-election... yeah..., we all surely know about this...... there is a famous barometer to determine when the next election in an area gonna happen in Malaysia.... Easy easy only...... Normally when u drive on the road rite... there is a lot of poth holes rite.... so when ur driving on the same road in a smooth manner plus its looks like the road has just been tar, that means that place is gonna have election soon.... Or you have people coming to ur house, asking auntie, auntie, do you have any problem in getting the right of the land? IF got we can halp you..... vote for the weighting scale...

Then after that, you never hear from the person again.... so typical in swk n sbh..... they keep giving people hope... Nay its pay back time.... for all the years of lies and deceit.... The batang Ai people fell into this trick once more.... they have been promised a piece of land for like the past 20 years...... but until today remain illegal occupant.... plus they have been thrown out from their original village before... so pity them la.... I dun blame them for having high hopes but still get nothing after that.....

That aint gonna happen in Kuching.... thats y BN lose four chinese majority seats.... plus the DAP fireband, Chong Chien Jen is such a cute chili mouth boy..... its definitely worst sending him to both state and federal parliament..... Its just fun receiving u know the account of all the corrupt practices of the BN gov delivered direct to your house... damn.. BN's report card is full of red inks..... and its giving me sore eyes....

ok the conclusion of the day is.... it is right for Malaysian public to get a report card on how much money form the GLC has been used by the BN gov each time election.... Trust me..... we are kinda getting used to the red report card... like the selangor scandal... regarding PKNS and so called whore association which spend millions on buying the husbands rolex, expensive suit and cars also vacation trip to Japan, Australia to visit children in uni (maybe even paying the fees), and whole lots others....

its time to clean up the mess....

Malaysia, if u wanna have a top university in the world ranking, heed the advise of Harvard, "We sack the shole faculty that is underperforming and install a new one until it works". trust me... its gonna make it worth it..... the best thing for the current PM is for his gov to be booted out the next election.... so that he have more power to clean up the current mess.... or not its gonna end like a cancer we're suffering regarding the sub-prime morgage crisis in US.... Now its cleaning time..... not to patch up a small hole today and get a sink hole the next day

ohya by the way, its better to be like singapore.... so much developed than malaysia... ask anyone do you know malaysia and you'll get reply like.... hmmmm what country is it? is it Malawi? Mauritious? where have we been for the past 50 years that we are invincible compared to the small dot at the end of malaysia's map?

rise of dictatorship.....

I have recently deleted all my post related to political person from the gov....
its kinda a punishment to critise and even voice your dissatisfaction on line...

I mean now gov can sue you in court what you post in blogs...

now on, we'll be more careful....
using sign language... as you k**w what I mean like you know w#$t...

albeit that... we'll make sure that our opinion will not be suppressed in inhumane manner...

opposition newspaper were just being banned, people running for position were being stopped using cunning ways such as corruption allegation when the so called body never do anything.... suddenly woke up and banned good candidate....

wake up everyone....
soon there will be house arrest for all opposition and state of emergency when new pm is installed...

the soon to be person of hour surely knows how to use police, anti corruption agency and judiciary to make his dictatorship rule in april a smooth run...

the question here is he qualified????
I mean his involvement in scandals are like no longer a surprise to citizens....
I mean we have seen corruption, homocide, and others linked to this person....
it wouldn't surprise the world if he starts nuclear program....
I mean.... he's been through all the darkest places on earth.... that when he's dead the earth wouldn't take him in....

laws are being twisted to his psychological fantacies.... coup d'etat are done even though they were not majority.... I mean what more things he does that will not be a surprise to all of us....

The last straw that broke the camel's back....

Its kind of an irony that finally I fully understand what this proverb means. I first come across it in a public speaking competition back in 2006 when I was featured in The Star in the competition. It that point, I can’t understand what it fully meant. I just created a story about how I had a fight with a close friend about the first Malaysian Idol winner, Jacqueline Victor. I said that we disagreed and had a big fight that we broke off from being friends ever since that incident.
Well, today that story becomes a reality. If I were to tell my friends what happened, they would be stunned by my decision. It’s a known fact that I’m kinda of a talkative person who likes to comment. I do admit my mistake and bad behaviours. And it is at crossroad again that I decide that enough is enough. I do not mind being a joked and make fun off. But definitely there is a limit to that. I mean I have been trying to withstand this for the pass few years. Everyday I was being a clown that is so funny to be laugh and make fun off I guess that it becomes an amusement to others.
No matter how much I can take in being the laughing stalk of others, I’m a human being deep inside as well. I do have feelings and most of the times I just hid my feeling deep inside to avoid misunderstanding and arguments. I felt hurt each time being a laughing stalk as well. Try to be in my position and you will have a lot of Victoria Technology incidences.
Well, when enough is enough? It happens when I’m tired of so many works around me and felt stress out with all the workload and the pressure of performing to a certain expectation. Seriously, I just bottled up my feeling and I’m sick and tired of being harassed like a high school kid being bullied. I deserve a certain level of respect as a human at least and not being humiliated like a scum. Imagine your chair is constantly being kicked at while your try to concentrate in class when your whole body is tired and sick with all the work load and pressure from all sides to meet up to certain expectation. That is when the last straw broke the camel’s back. A camel certainly can carry all heavy loads on its back. But when it is sick and tired of the same work everyday, the lightest straw would break its back.
No matter what you call me, a loser or a defenseless bambi, or a jack ass. I decided to move on and the only way to do it is to cut off friendship with someone that like to bully me and humiliate me like a scum that doesn’t even deserve an existence. Thats it, no more comments. I’ll move on and I don’t mind not having someone that hurts me everyday to get loss from my life.